TRUST
she said :
... hehe ganon naman talaga.. understanding, patience & honesty.. lalo na pagdating sa dreams.. basta ko, i'll give you my limitless trust & support
Having a relationship at this stage in my life is worth all the wait. I can't imagine myself being involve with someone so clingy I'll lose time for my personal well being. Rest assured that I'll reciprocate just the same (I'm trying hard... LOL)
DYSENSITIZED
We live in White Plains, my mother's reply to wheredoyoulive questions. Not the private enclave of the rich, famous and pretentious, but the white plains of the cemetery ground.
Having lived where I am living now, I have witnessed Death's conquest. What were previously hectares of verdant rice field are now dull white-painted tombstones and mausoleums. I have witnessed our frontyard turned into a memorial park. The hill not far from us was not spared. And a few years ago, 20 meters or so from our house, a Funeral parlor was erected. Yes we live in solemnity and solitude.
That is my environment. The cemetery is our neighborhood playground. And I think that explains why I am dysensitized with death. The funeral marches and songs are my biggest musical influence.
I have witnessed all kind of burial, from ordinary to downright pompous pageantry, from sleepy marches to current poprock. And although everyone will die equal, and true that nobody can bring their material wealth with them in the netherworld; the discrepancy between rich and poor is palpable by the funeral service and the place of final rest. Ordinary mortals get the ordinary service, few flowers, and ordinary-looking sympathizers. While the rich and famous are in their full regalia of barong and fine white clothes - the donya looking crowd.
They subscribe to the finest service in our city. The ordinary folks are buried in ordinary looking tombstones. And a notch lower than ordinary goes to the 'apartment' -- those located at the back of the cemetery, cramped, and place one on top of another. Well, for the old rich and the nouveau riche, they can afford to construct for themselves nice mausoleum.
These were my observations. But for me they are just the material aspects of death. It boils down to can-afford and the can't-afford. Nothing I can do about that. What's interesting for me is how much crowd of family, friends, neighbors, even kibitzers can one attract when they die. It never fails to amaze me how one lives his life to
attract such sympathizers. Well, that is my fear-- what if there was no one to lay me to rest but the undertakers? I don't fear DEATH, I fear that i'll fail to make an impact on someone's life to deserve their last respect.
