useless-me

caveat: this is a fiction .

while guarding my post, i saw an old friend. Not quite in the best moods in recent days, like a default action of a switch statement, I've asked myself how low i've shrunk in the Standards list.

certainly low I surmised. I've been toiling for years and no glimmer of material emancipation in sight.
another friend from the years past have already took her qualifying exams, not only that, graduating from the MOST prestigious institution to boot with.
a not so exciting enslaver.
a lipidinous consort.

no i don't usually compare myself. i never do. but it's the reality that is glaring at me real hard that makes me realize this depressing truth. the uselessness of my efforts. the inadequacy of my situation. the hopelessness that surrounds me. again, pushing me inside my shell.

for all the sacrifices i've made, i guess i form part of the majority who would be like that, sacrificial lamb, victim of social injustice for the rest of my terrestrial existence.

i cringe at the fact that i lagged at the one thing im sure i wanted and actually good at.
damn poverty. damn pauperism. damn. damn. damn.

how is that?!

now, all i wanna do is sleep this viral depression hoping that the cure will present itself by the time consciousness knocks me into reality.

turtle's path

i hate metaphor, it's a lie - a curious incident of a dog in a nighttime, mark haddon

i'm a sea turtle out in the sea
i'm flowing with the current
i'm out on a journey
but how come crossed path
seemed to overlap
why is the current intermittent
why can't it just howl in lament

ABzTE

well, gasgas na nga yan, yan daw yung bagong alphabet.whatever.

Yep, we were able to catch one big janitor fish off the pusali known as the philippine politics. I wont pontificate on the merits of the case, people vs. estrada is a nice read for everyone, so read it if you have time. Hooray, is not enough I know, an understatement at most. But, yes I'm happy that the sandiganbayan did not succumb to pressure. Feeling naman ni dufus rodriguez na by approving the budgetary request of SB e they will recieve a favorable verdict. You mister dufus is a scheming lawyer, SHAME shame! Sayang nga lang, many were left in the dark that left erap fans confunded bacause of another evil ploy from the DEFENSE. The audacity to have a motion for SB to just read the dispositive portion. Yes it was brief, but personally it defeated the purpose of informing the public how and why the court was able to come up with the decision. Owmygolay! Sabi na, the evil ploy was to create a shadow of doubt and put the validity and integrity of SB in a dubious light. Haaay..

For me what really pinned the plunderer down was the Belle shares issue. Bakit kamo? basahin mo... LOL (As i've warned, I would not discuss the merits of the case, there's too much info on the web already so do your homework and read. Read. read.)

Natawa naman ako kay former Senator Saguisag ng sabihan niyang 'Premature E-JAKOL-ation' yung celebration ng private and public prosecutors. Wohoooo. Bitter comment and puerile unexpected of his stature as a respectable former senator (but expected from a loosing old man)

The lesson reaaly is clear, that we can get those who rape our nation, our economy and ideals and benefit from it on the process. So for the tradpols specially the dirtiest breed read, YOU no longer enjoy the vastness of the pond, YOU will be caught, and be punished.

RE ZTE, hindi ko masyado nasusubaybayan kasi so I have no authority to determine the validity of the supposedly EXECUTIVE AGREEMENT. What caught the ire of the public maybe was not the DEAL per se but the circumstances sorrounding it. Birumin mong mainvolve ang Commissioner ng COMELEC? How is that naman? And my gulay, $$$$$ na bribe? usapang brie at per na naman. Ganon na lang siguro talaga, pera pera lang yan pag nasa government ka?! And the latest now is that FG is being implicated, again. Very anomalous indeed.

I am for the truth, so madame president, please dont use EO 464 to suppress it.

What i didn't like in the events that have transpired is the involvement of known pro-estrada congressmen and senators rabidly gnashing at the issue. Halatang they are out to exact revenge. Naman! sabi nga ng anak ni lito lapid sa isang pelikulang flop..... 'saging lang ang may puso'. For Jinggoy, he is bereft of any scintilla of purity. Feeling legal luminary. pwe. Eto namang si Lacson, grabe, ambisyoso! I really dont think you'll win the 2010 presidential election, KARMA is against you.

.. at etong fristrated na si Oscar Cruz... umieksena na naman! hay mga kaparian nga naman... (nasaan na pala si running priest)? Just like in any club where the head got incapacitated by disease or otherwise, the struggle to fillup the void is unimaginable.That i think what happened when the influential Cardinal Sin passed away. Everyone is vying for the limelight. jusme. Oscar Cruz the bishop has this brand of politics similar to any mouthblabbing madungis na local politician. Kung makapagsalita parang anghel sa lupa. That i call religious hypocrisy. Having opinion on national issues is not abominable, it just tells us that the person is concern. But to do it in a way like he's God's gift to mankind (putcha), with all sort of puritanical innuendoes infused with pompous verbiage is different. It really socks. LOL. And to push my theory, nagngngitngit siguro sa galit yan nung nanalo si Fr. Ed Panlilio ng Pampanga. Contrary to Cruz, Ka Ed is humble and is really about serving his province. Tapos. Samantalang si Cruz, mahadero, bungangero, intregero, pari.

Moral lesson: Work hard, live a simple life, and be humble.

strike 2

strike 1 : oblivious/spectral monthsary
strike 2 : no-show @ birthday dinner


I would not elaborate on my excuses, but they really are valid.
Reverse psychology has no effect on me.
The programmer in me encapsulates me from the unreachable codes and instructions.
I am now on energy drink (bacchus/ion) just to stifle somnolence.

I am tired of telenovela dramas.
But it does not mean it's stripped of importance.
I just have to drop the cumbersome meta-drama/ meta-life.

I made you a poem because
you disdain the forwarded message I've sent you.
And I'm posting it here.

What is the essence?
am I making sense
past present & future tense
I presume PATIENCE

presence in putrefaction
malignant if not indignant
melancholic & contrite
and a tad deviant

i cannot console the SUPERFICIAL
when the EGO is livid
and the soul languid
clamor,enamour, endeavor

No, I am not numb just flooded I supposed. Flooded like moonsoon flood.
But don't worry, I can swim. I won't drown.